Of course, we couldn't leave without stocking up on chocolates and ice-cream from the farm shop for even more inspiration in the future!

The readings for the evening included short stories, articles, drama, children’s writing, book reviews, and part of a novel. Everything was so interesting that I forgot to take notes, so, apologies if I have missed anyone out.

Fiona ably acted out Wilma’s monologue - a supermarket checkout assistant with delusions about her own abilities - then we heard book reviews from Dorothy (Alan Bennett’s An Uncommon Reader) and Jennifer (Belinda Bauer’s Blacklands).

The next section was children’s writing, when Dorothy and Lorraine read their stories for the under-7s, accompanied by their descriptions of the illustrations required.

Joan took on the role of narrator for the first part of Flora’s novel, which whetted our appetite for more, then Catherine read her article on Doug Scott, the mountaineer. She included quotes from Doug that she had obtained during a family lunch, frantically jotting down notes on a napkin. Flora’s article dealt with a holiday in Pitlochry, and encouraged many of us to revisit the area.

Then we came to the short stories, when Wilma and Carolyn read their ‘twist in the tale’ submissions. Wilma’s story had such a surprise ending that it caused an “Oooh” to go round the room. We finished with Janice’s crime story about a bookkeeper’s final day at work.

Some of the winners who did not read their pieces will have the chance to let us hear their winning entries after the AGM on 9th May.

Jennifer West

Debby’s Murder Mystery ‘Brought To Book’ was originally written for ‘Crime Week’ at the local library.

She told us how she structured the piece to suit the participating library staff ‘actors’, main parts, lesser parts and a one-liner for the man who did the mobile library and never managed rehearsals!

Debby then explained the mechanics of murder mysteries.

The setting was a library, specifically the ‘Crime’ section where a body had been found beneath a pile of books.
The cast list came first then half of these characters became possible suspects.

Create and list motives these characters might have.  Humour was added to Debby’s play through character names – D. S. Holms with Constable Johnston, Mrs Fletcher and Mrs Barnaby, Mr. Jim Rockford – you get the idea!  Dialogue was sharp and witty with subtle red herrings along the way.

The play was ably ‘read’ rather than acted by our own ‘luvvies’- Simon, Andrew, Ian, Lesley, Helena, Sheila, Kirsty, Fiona and Joan, the audience was enthralled by the believable characters and focused on trying to solve the mystery.  Debby directed stopping the action just before the victim had been identified.

At tea time there was a ‘buzz’ of deduction and speculation around the room.

After tea Debby recorded the audience’s predictions of who the murderer might be and it transpired that all suspects were selected by at least two people.

Then in typical Agatha Christie style the detective discounted the suspects one by one until two were left.  The audience was kept guessing to the end. The crafting here was very clever as the audience was led to believe the murderer was one suspect then swiftly the other one was revealed as the culprit.

The play ended in humour with the teenage library assistant complaining that the library was ‘too boring’!

Debby then explained the importance of knowing where people were at different times: – clue: when Mrs Fletcher had taken a book from the Crime section out the body hadn’t been there at that time.  This information contradicted the murderer’s statement, case solved!

There was much discussion afterwards about different murder mysteries on television and we need never feel guilty about watching these in the future because ‘it’s all research’!

Greta Yorke

Michael outlined the meandering path his early writing followed, from the ambitious attempt of an eleven year old to redraft ‘Tarka The Otter’, to teenage poetry and even a preliminary sketch of a novel. These skills were to re-emerge in mid-life, Michael initially establishing himself as a poet, before turning to a life of crime (writing, that is).

Despite his current literary successes, Michael is due to publish two books this year (‘Blood Tears’ in June and ‘Carnegie’s Call’ around September), the trials and tribulations of securing the support of an agent and publisher have not passed him by. With waves of hope repeatedly dashed against the unforgiving rocks of ‘rave rejections’, Michael described how tenacity itself would not necessarily secure success. The best way to proceed, he advises, is simply to write on, not waiting for a breakthrough with the first attempt, but refocusing immediately on the next effort.

A keen advocate of self-help, Michael found ways to support his writing by running classes in Creative Writing. He was also pro-active in pursuing outlets for his work by attending conferences, workshops and literary events that would bring him into contact with potentially helpful contacts. Michael urged fellow writers to do likewise, to actively seek out their own opportunities rather than wait to ‘be discovered’.

The key aspects and qualities of good crime writing were outlined with fellow enthusiasts being urged to lead their readers down a path of endless questions towards a satisfying resolution. Michael offered countless hints and insights regarding factors that we can control, those that we can seek to influence and those over which we have no apparent sway whatsoever. Good writing, Michael observed, requires a blend of qualities and skills that can be acquired and refined by effort and a willingness to use feedback productively. Publication, alas, is more challenging in that although it is influenced considerably by the author’s efforts, it is also subject to the vagaries of taste and the publishing market. But as for the good fortune of dreaming up a brilliant opening to a book, or the synchronicity of bumping into the perfect source for the information you simply must have, who knows what good fortune brings such things forth?

A night bursting with pearls of wisdom grown from years of experience, Michael’s thoughts and reflections were well worth the undivided attention they received.

Dorothy Gallagher

From the discovery of a murder scene to the conclusion in a court, every minute piece of evidence is collated and protected to sustain a conviction. We learned how the Scene of Crime team cordon off the crime area to protect from ‘outside contamination’. This has been carried out since 1927 when Edmond Locard, a Forensic Scientist, expounded his theory that ‘every contact leaves a trace’ – that is, that anyone entering or leaving a room takes something with him/her and leaves behind something of him/herself. In other words – evidence.

Ian gave examples of this theory through some of the cases he has worked on. From the Yorkshire Ripper to murders committed in Scotland. For example, one murderer was captured because her fingerprints were discovered on a work surface at the scene of a murder – her fingerprint was captured in blood on the counter. A second murderer was incriminated by police finding the bloody fingerprint of the victim (female) on an item at the perpetrator’s house. He also told us about the killer caught as he sliced onions in his kitchen …….

The crime scene is protected to allow the Scene of Crime Team to comb for evidence. This evidence may be biological, for example DNA or physical, where the perpetrator has touched or even removed something at the crime scene. Each Serious Crime Team has a member in who is responsible for maintaining the integrity and logistical management of the crime scene and of the evidence. An Office Manager who co-ordinates officers’ movements and a Statement Manager who methodically goes through each witness statement to highlight salient points. These are then transferred onto a nationwide police computer to find ‘matches’ which might fit the case (e.g. where a car or van is mentioned by colour or plate). If a murder remains unsolved the team need to carry out an evaluation of each stage to review the case.

Having outlined the tools and techniques used by police, Jim gave some examples of real life cases (not for the faint hearted). The police have access to state-of-the-art IT equipment and modern policing methodology however, it is the human input which is key to solving murder. It appears that in many cases, the local bobby and his knowledge of his community have proven invaluable. In at least two of the cases discussed last night, the local constable was able to pinpoint likely offenders – and they were proved correct.

Jim talked about some of the characters he has met through his work. From the local ned who tries to provoke the police, to the career gangsters who shy away from them to a paranoid degree (they won’t use mobile phones or computers in case they are traced) and even the gun toting madman that the police fondly named ‘Basil’ – ‘he was mad as a brush!’ We sat open-mouthed at this glimpse into a nether world.

So … when you next watch ‘CSI’, ‘Taggart’ or even ‘Columbo’ (still being repeated!) – keep in mind that there are a lot of unsung heroes/heroines in the background who are carrying out repetitive and essential work to help bring offenders to justice. When you next see a local bobby on his patch, remember that he also has an important role in the police team and maybe just give him a wee smile … For all the sophisticated equipment, it’s the ‘Sherlock Holmes’ emphasis on clues that solves the crime. Oh, and the killer chopping onions in his kitchen? That was to wipe the blade clean of DNA evidence from the blood of his victim ………

Wilma Scott

As the club’s guest speaker last night Mr Martine had the whole audience eating out of the palm of his hand with a humorous and interesting talk and a revealing question & answer session. His talk covered his career from entering the publishing industry as a printer through to editing and writing for magazines and newspapers and authoring a wide range of well-received books. He may have also mentioned taking on some work in and around the world of whisky.

He spoke knowledgeably on both life as a writer and a journalist and on the subjects he has covered in his long and varied career. With anecdotes ranging from meeting Compton MacKenzie as a 16 year old ‘hack’ for his school newspaper, to being gifted a signed golf ball from none other than President Reagan, to childhood memories of his father being held in a Japanese POW camp it was inspiring to just sit back and listen to him. I seem to remember some talk about whisky too.

He spoke fondly and in depth about other writers he had come into contact with over the course of his long working life, many of whom had become good friends. He was generous with his praise of many of them.

He was generous with his advice too. His take on the difference between a career in journalism and writing fiction was interesting; as a journalist you can take on any subject, regardless of how familiar you are with it, so long as you have the instinct to know who to get the goods from, information-wise. On the other hand, he stressed that as a fiction writer you are better to stick to subjects you know well.

He spoke passionately about needing a passion to write, and highlighted the importance of meeting deadlines in today’s high tech and competitive world.

Whether talking about his peers, his subject matter or his actual career his vividly recounted descriptions of events both major and minor gave an indication of his ability to observe details and communicate them powerfully to his audience.

Mr Martine clearly relishes his life as a writer but was honest about the downsides. Altogether an evening very well spent, much like an evening spent with a few glasses of a good single malt, but without the hangover…

Flora Napier

Hi Janice

Carolyn’s introductory talk, although not about drama, highlighted the dramatic effects that the debilitating condition Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME) has had on herself and thousands more. Having endured this condition myself for many years, it is without a doubt; Carolyn was truly speaking for ME. With this in mind, I would urge all to visit the website she was campaigning for  http://www.actionforme.org.uk/get-involved/campaign-for-change/time-for-action

After Carolyn’s exemplary speech, Kirsty demonstrated her ability as an aspiring actress and singer by not only reading out her script, but by sampling her dulcet tones in front of the whole group. Gutsy Girl!

The group was then asked to show scripts produced from homework; ‘Don’t I know you?!’ was the only stipulated line to be incorporated into a short sketch. Simon’s ‘Strangers on a train,’ had us laughing out loud at the man with Rosacea who was accused of having high blood pressure but confessed to simply having the face of a drunk.

My own short sketch with a nurse and his ‘pile’ of patients was effectively read by Ann and Sheila; my thanks to both for bringing the scene to life. I’ve learned it’s of paramount importance to hear your work read aloud to pinpoint errors that might otherwise go unnoticed.

Lastly, Helena’s and Catherine’s excellent winning SAW scripts were also read out. These were not only hilarious with poignant moments, but because I have an avid interest in screenwriting, I learned more about dialogue, layout and the importance of timing for each gag.

Well worth the effort to drag myself down to the Club!

Gail McPartland