The much anticipated Comedy Monologues’ evening brought all our writers out from the cold and into our warm meeting place to welcome BBC Scotland’s Margaret-Anne Docherty and her assistant Lauren to the Ayr Writers’ Club.
Margaret-Anne had set us the challenge of writing a comedy monologue and this evening these fabulous and engaging pieces of work were read out, sometimes by their creator and sometimes by others who had volunteered (?) to read the pieces on their behalf. Unfortunately, not all members who had submitted work were able to attend the event therefore Margaret-Anne will be taking them all away to review and decide upon the winning entry.
With a wide range of topics covered and humour intricately embroidered throughout which kept us laughing at regular intervals, most were complemented on their successful “gag rate”. Although the topics were varied there did seem to be a lion’s share of innuendos floating around the room. Perhaps it is just my imagination but here are some examples.
• “Oh this is a powerful stiff” – Spiritualist Convention
• “There was something really nasty stuck on the floor earlier on.” – Mrs Mop taking over a yoga class
• “Maybe if you push him on his back end?” – The Dog Whisperer
• “Ribbed for your pleasure” – The Presto Experience
Other writers had taken bigger risks with their monologue topics and were rewarded with raucous laughter and shocked expressions around the room. These included the “dreadfully funny” piece written about the Cancer Support helpline worker named “Joy” whose shocking ineptitude and unfeeling nature was totally inappropriate for her job role but also was exceptionally funny to listen to. Another “sample” was about the post vasectomy sperm specimen required and the difficulties of acquiring such.
More examples of great topics included a sniffing, nightmarish waitress, a hapless care assistant, a senior librarian with a tendency of throwing sweets at children to stop them from eating the books and the internal thoughts of a minister during an unusual wedding, who described the groom as “Loves young dream no lang doon fae the trees waukin oan his knuckles and struttin his stuff.”
With a very loud and unexpected interruption from a God-like voice from above when the intercom speaker burst forth with “1,2……….1,2”, some ladies in the group levitated momentarily off their seats and paled, showing significant signs of shock. I was on standby to deliver Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation should it be required. Luckily it wasn’t and the entire evening was a great success and both enjoyable and educational.
We all learned the importance of the “who, what, where, why and when” of writing a monologue as well as the value of setting the scene with a good introductory paragraph.
I am sure we all look forward to finding out who the deserving winner of this competition is. We are all very grateful to Margaret-Anne and Lauren for their time, feedback and expertise.
Lorraine Johnston